Finding office job

Haih...i failed the interview jor!
Stupid! (Scolding myself)
So...ended up finding another job again.
But i really very lazy to find lar...
Mayb bcoz my mum gv me a lot of pressure
Everyday also ask me "Do u wanna find job today?"
Make me very...very...
Haih...i also dunno how to explain my feelings
Very complicated!

Its my holiday lar...
Y shd i gv soooo much pressure to myself?
Every1 is relaxing,
Y can't i be jz like them?

But, if i dun find an office job,
I feel that i m useless & guilty
Bcoz my sis did work for a company b4,
During her sem break too...
So, i think that i shd also find an office job,
To gain more experience in administrative work to help out in future career.
If not, it would be very difficult for me to find job after graduate.

But, i really very very lazy aaahhh...
I think i will gv up finding job during dis sem break.
Find it next year lar...hehehe!

好难过噢!

最近姐姐替我找了一份工作
那是她以前做过的
Office job...accountant assistant

要interview的前几天...晚上
我起初是很开心在看戏的
但却万万没想到
在我想上楼的时候
却在楼梯间听到妈妈和姐姐的谈话声

原来她们正在说我的坏话
其实也不能说是坏话
应该说是我的缺点吧！
她们说我这个人
很直
每次遇到什么问题就要问别人
永远都不会自己去面对

当听到这些时
我顿时停下脚步
躲在楼梯间偷听
就是想要听完她们到底还会讲我些什么
可是我越听...越火大, 越伤心
明明是妈妈主动要问姐姐interview的时候会问些什么样的问题
又不是我拜托妈妈帮我问的
其实我知道妈妈是想帮我...想保护我
但是我就是知道姐姐不会告诉我的
每次问她东西
心情好就会回答你
心情差就会发脾气
所以我才不想问的
而且我也希望我可以自己面对

我听到一半
就听不下去了
接着走下楼去看戏
但是带着这种心情看戏
哪可以专心看呢?

当她们俩都睡觉后
过了一阵子我才上床睡
(平常很迟睡, 所以当晚也不例外)
原本可以睡个好觉的
但是头脑一直想着刚才所听到的话
不知不觉就开始哭了

其实我从小已经知道我就是这样的人
又笨 又傻 又直
因为家人都是这样讲我的
所以从小到大我都一直认为我是家里最没有用的孩子
我不会怪他们
只能怪自己
为什么会那么没用
为什么...为什么...为什么！
为什么老天爷就不能让我聪明一点呢？

其实我已不是第一次为这种事而难过
数过来都有好几次了
每次都是大哭一场
累了就睡个觉
隔天就会没事

但有几次我想说做一些东西让自己变聪明一点
比如说多学多看多讲
可是到最后还是没做到
我真的真的真的是一个很失败的人啊！
这么会那么失败呢？
真的让我好难过噢！

Swimming & Singing

Hehehe...today went swimming wif darling at his apartment!
Felt so excited coz this was the 1st time swimming wif him & wearing bikini in front of him! Another bigger problem to me was 'how to swim', i dun even know how to swim & yet i was the one hu suggested this idea...weird right!!!

Anyway, he was willing to teach me...but...but...haih...i cannot concentrate, kept on laughing like a crazy lady...dunno y...mayb bcoz i m too close to him! This made me recalled back when wei ning was teaching me how to swim at sunway lagoon, i kept on laughing too! This conclude that i cannot be taught by some1 hu is close to me, if not i cant concentrate & will keep on laughing non-stop in the swimming pool!

After swimming, v went to sing k wif my darling's best buddies. All of them were so energetic except me, swimming really made me felt a bit tired & not enough energy to sing...haih! But its ok to me, i will also let them sing more even though i m not tired coz they r much more better in singing especially my darling...made me felt that i m so damn worse in singing...really worse...no talent at all...haih...T.T

Shopping

Today, i went shopping wif my mum at Mid Valley...
Haha...shopping is my favourite!

At first, i went inside Vincci...bought a slipper!
Then, MNG...wow, got sales man! Bought 3 clothes...
Went to Treats after that...bought a black jeans...
Minoshe...bought 2 bra...oops...paiseh...
At last, bought a bikini...hahaha...never wear a bikini b4...

T.T ... All my money flew into other ppl's pocket adi...pokkai liao!
I had spent more than RM 400...OMG...So sad lar...
Hv to stop shopping for a moment...muz work hard to earn more money!

Before i end, jz wan to say thx mum...for accompanied me today, although u were suffering frm period pain...sorry & thank you! Muakz...

First Touch

Hi!!!
Finally hv time & mood to post something on my blog...hehehe...

Holiday makes me feel great after gone thru almost 1 mth of terrible studying & exams moment. However, i m still worrying of my exam results, coz i knew that i did very badly, especially management...hopefully i can pass all the 4 subjects so that i will not hv to retake again...haih...

Dun think that again...dun think...dun think...dun think...
This is wat i will tell myself everytime when my mind is thinking of something that i shd not think of during holiday, coz holiday is the only time for me to relax & hv fun...right?!

Instead of thinking that kind of stuff, y dun i think of wat to do during holiday! Actually i was planning to go for gym or dancing class, but i dun think i can make it now coz of $$$...So, mayb i will jz go for exercise at the playground behind my house...although i m afraid of exercising alone...haih...no choice...mayb i will bring a pepper spray along wif me for the purpose of self-protection...hahaha...

Hopefully i m able to lose weight during holiday...i wan my body to be fit...no more spare tayars...this is my aim but i knew that it will not happen coz...erm...dunno...hahaha!!

Lastly, i jz wan to say "gambateh"......to myself......in keeping fit! Jia You! Jia You! Jia You!